Sabtu, 18 Desember 2010

Top Ten Poker Christmas Carols from The Quotable Poker Player

TOP TEN POKER

CHRISTMAS CAROLS


'Twas the Poker Night before Christmas.
We Three Kings of Orient are.
Ding Dong Merrily on High Stakes.
Hearts the Herald Angels Sing.
The First Noel Furlong.
O, Come All Ye Faithfull House
The Holly and the Ivey.
Cold Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly.
While Shepherds Watched their Flops by Night.
All I Want for Christmas is my Two Hole Cards.




MERRY XMAS
  from

THE QUOTABLE POKER PLAYER


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Selasa, 14 Desember 2010

"Quotable Poker Player" book signing at the Fox Poker Club in London


Quotable Poker Player book signing at the Fox Poker Club in London

Colin M Jarman was at the Fox Poker Club in the West End of London to sign copies of The Quotable Poker Player.

The poker quotes book is available for sale at the Fox Poker Club for £12.99.

At present, the Fox Poker Club is the only place in London to stock copies of the book and they have signed copies available to buy before Xmas, while stocks last.






The Fox Poker Club is the first poker club in London and a must destination for poker players of all levels. You will be guaranteed a friendly welcome at the club which is situated in the heart of the West End at 93-107 Shaftesbury Avenue.
Click here for details of free club membership.


Click here for details on how to buy The Quotable Poker Player quotes book online.

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Kamis, 09 Desember 2010

The Quotable Poker Player book review: "There are some really, really funny poker quotes in here"

BOOK REVIEW
THE QUOTABLE POKER PLAYER
"There are some really, really
funny quotes in here"

Review by ANDREW KICAK on SmokePoker.com

You learn the game.  You play the game.  You play the game online.  You watch it on television.  You may even read instructional books or pro player biographies.  But have you ever imagined being able to quote poker?  Or rather dish out famous poker quotations and quips?

I admit I never really considered anyone would compile an encyclopaedia of poker quotations.  That is, until I received Colin M. Jarman’s The Quotable Poker Player in the mail.  Essentially, The Quotable Poker Player (TQPP) is a thorough compilation of over 1500 poker quotes or attributed remarks taken from pro players, celebrities, films, historical figures, etc.

Now I’m not a huge reader.  Despite being an English and Theatre major in university, I have rarely found the time to pick up a book for a good read.  And when I do, it’s usually related to my businesses or technical in nature.  So I was understandably relieved to see that TQPP is more a reference book than a suspense-laden page-turner.  But the funny thing is, once I started flipping through it… I couldn’t put it down! There are some good, funny, and smart quotations in the TQPP.   And improbably, it IS a good read.

The Background
Author Colin Jarman has published over 30 books in the United States and in the UK through publisher Blue Eyed Books.  He’s written just about every kind of book from biographies to humour to science.  TQPP is one of his newest books in his quotable book series.  Colin spent nearly two years compiling the quotations for this book.   And it shows.  With over 1500 references, there’s a lot of exhaustively researched material packed between the pages.   Colin used a systematic process of evaluating the content for his book through the lens of “hilarity”, “cleverness”, and “originality” to select the quotations that made it into the book.

The Product
The book is a 156 page paperback with a 2010 publication date.  The contents are divided into 12 chapters or general categories which are further subdivided within each chapter.  Some notable chapters include Poker Faces (real & fictional), Poker Warfare, Poker Song (yes, this book couldn’t possibility have credibility without a mention of The Gambler by Kenny Rogers), and a concise chapter on Poker Movie quotations.  There is no foreword or afterword

The Review
Okay, so it’s a quotations book.  There’s not really much to review.  There’s obviously no narrative or compelling writing structure.  However, the quotations themselves had to be assembled, organized and edited into the book.  There are quotations from almost every major poker personality and player.  What I was particularly impressed with was the eclectic nature of the quotations.  Besides, the usual poker pros you see and hear about at WSOP and WPT, there are quotes attributed to “Fulltilt.com” for example, as well as celebrity players like Jason Alexander, Brad Garrett, etc.  It’s a great mix.  Overall, this is a great flip-through-read book that makes for an interesting browse.  The special treat was the movie quotes and lines that related to poker, as well as music lyrics, etc.  And given the recent publication date, it’s pretty up-to-date with 2009 and 2010 references.

The cover illustration is a little cheesy looking and I’m not a personal fan of the font used. But I suppose you could argue that the book has an intentional campy, quirky sort of feel to it.  I also found that the author was reaching a bit when it came to certain quotations.  Like the Gus Hansen quote, “I like to see a lot of flops” seems to me more of a general statement that a humorous, interesting observation.  I’m not sure I would’ve included it in the book.  But then again, I’m not the author!

On the flip side, there are also tons of gems in here – too many to list.  But I loved some of the online poker promoting quotes (ie. “Show me a professional player who refuses to play on the Internet these days and I’ll show you a dinosaur.” – Jesse May (2005)) .   There are some really, really funny quotes in here as well.  I highly recommend checking out the author’s site.  If you want to preview some quotations prior to purchasing, the publisher’s site is peppered with interesting quotations.

SmokePoker.com Book Review: 4 out of 5





FOR MORE DETAILS ON OR WHERE TO BUY THE QUOTABLE POKER PLAYER.

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Sabtu, 13 November 2010

Funny Poker Quotes Book Raises a Good Deal of Laughs - The Quotable Poker Player Book Review

THE QUOTABLE POKER PLAYER

BOOK REVIEW

Review by Poker.org.uk

"Many of the 'diamond-studded' quotes had me laughing aloud"
The Quotable Poker Player
London-born author Colin M. Jarman has had 30+ books published in the United States and the United Kingdom, having written books covering such diverse subject areas as biographies, James Bond, Doctor Who, Judge Dredd, dance, science, sports, humour and quotations. The Quotable Poker Player, published in 2010, is one of his newest books in Jarman's "quotations" series of books. The two years taken to compile the quotations for the book are evident in the painstakingly investigated material crammed between its 200 pages, which combine originality and humour in their content.

The Quotable Poker Player is a comic collection of 1500+ humorous poker quotations, covering all forms of the game, from 5-Card Stud to Texas Hold`Em. Furthermore, the volume reflects all aspects and views of the game of poker, celebrating the "fun" side of poker on both the US and UK sides of the Atlantic Ocean. The contents of the book are divided into 12 chapters, with notable divisions of the The Quotable Poker Player including chapters devoted to "Poker Books," "Poker As Warfare," "Poker Is.," "Poker Movies," "Poker on TV" and "Poker Song", since any poker quotation book must lack authority if ignoring Kenny Rogers` "The Gambler." These chapters, which include funny, poker-based sayings and quotations from professional players, poker celebrities, authors, humorists and journalists, along with a selection from film and TV characters are accompanied by an extensive A-Z poker glossary.

Despite being an avid poker player, I am not a massive reader on the subject. Primarily, I write for Internet websites and engage in some part-time Mathematics tuition, so the time available for recreational reading is limited. As a result, I was somewhat relieved to find the
The Quotable Poker Player to be more of a reference book than a "page turner," laden with anticipation. Nonetheless, once I started flicking through Jarman's latest offering, I found it difficult to put down.

As a book of quotations, The Quotable Poker Player essentially has no narrative or writing structure to review. However, it includes quotations from the vast majority of poker players and personalities, organised in a coherent fashion. The book has a seemingly deliberate idiosyncratic ambience and the eclectic assortment of quotations impressed me greatly.

There are offerings from professional players from the European Poker Tour, World Poker Tour and World Series of Poker, along with a selection from celebrity players. This makes for a great mix and a very entertaining read. Many of the "diamond-studded" quotes had me laughing aloud, although generally these are too numerous to mention in an article of this nature. However, one worthy of note is Jesse May's, apparently Internet-promoting quote of 2005, namely,"Show me a professional player who refuses to play on the Internet these days and I'll show you a dinosaur."

Overall, The Quotable Poker Player is a superb, enjoyable reference book, which is ideal for the "pick up, put down reader" such as me, making for entertaining and amusing browsing.

With a recent publication date, the content of The Quotable Poker Player is remarkably current and will provide a great read for casual players or more serious exponents of the game, seeking to pick up poker bonuses.



 

For more information about The Quotable Poker Player, please visit the publisher's web page at: http://www.blue-eyed-books.co.uk/poker-quotes-book



Senin, 26 Juli 2010

Poker Quotes from The Quotable Poker Player - Fun-Packed Book of 1500 Humorous Poker Quotations

Poker Quotes Book - Funny Poker QuotationsPoker Quotes Book

THE QUOTABLE POKER PLAYER

Read 'Em and Weep (with laughter) 

The Fun-Packed Book
of
Poker Quotations

1500 Humorous Poker Quotations
from Five-Card Stud to No Limit Texas Hold 'Em



Book Price inc Shipping Costs
Please select the drop-down option for your region and click 'Buy Now'


Buy The Quotable Poker Player Quotes book
ISBN-10: 1907338052
ISBN-13: 9781907338052
Published by: Blue Eyed Books

For more book information go to "The Quotable Poker Player" Publisher website at Blue Eyed Books
or
Email Blue Eyed Books 




This volume of over 1500 humorous poker quotes covers all aspects of the global game from Las Vegas to London, from Monaco to your home game. It celebrates the fun-side of poker encompassing a transatlantic theme across both the American and European views of the game.

From The Cincinnati Kid to the Poker Brat ............................. From bad beats to Goodfellas

From Holly Madison to Phil Ivey ................................................ From home games to House of Games

From Go Fish to the Devilfish ................................................... From Poker 101 to Ocean’s 11

From green felt greenhorns to Barry Greenstein .................. From Texas Hold ‘em to California Split

From The Odd Couple to Phil and Jennifer ........................... From Full Tilt to Free Rolls 


“The poker trail can lead you through hostile country, beautiful landscapes and miles of barren desert. The journey will last a lifetime so keep moving on until you find the next watering hole.”
Trevor Sippets, Poker: How to Play, How to Win (2005)


The Quotable Poker Player includes the funniest poker-based sayings and quotations from professional players, poker celebrities, authors, humorists and journalists, as well as a choice selection from film and TV characters.


Bret Maverick [James Garner]: “If you're going to play poker, you'll have to develop a sense of humour. That's the whole trick, my friend.”
on Maverick: Relic of Fort Tejon (1957)



SAMPLE CONTENTS and CHAPTER HEADINGS

POKER IS ...


"Poker is the new pornography. The Internet is awash with it … it’s banned in China and it’s full of excitable Scandinavians."
Rick Dacey on InsidePokerMag.co.uk (2006)


POKER AS WARFARE


"Poker is like war; there is no tomorrow. You have to pick the hill you want to defend and die trying, or be king of the hill."
Johnny Hale on GamingToday.com (2009)


POKER 101


"Every bluff is now revealed as the product of untold computations, every bullying all-in raise seen for the science that it is, the arithmetic of incomplete knowledge. Unless, of course, it’s just a bad guess."
Richard Hoffer in Sports Illustrated magazine (2003)


POKER CARDS and HANDS


"The cards have no regard for sex; they’ll just as soon make a straight for a woman as a man - only it will sting worse if you have a scrotum."
Michael Konik (2001)


POKER GAMES


"No-Limit Texas Hold ‘em may be the Cadillac of poker games, but there are plenty of other fine cars out there in the showroom."
Conrad Brunner on CardPlayer.com (2006)


POKER PLACES


"The card clubs of California are vast sheds of frenetic activity filled with noise and excitement, proffering some 200 tables divided between American poker and Chinese games. They are good fun in their own way. But for true believers, Binion’s in May is better than April in Paris."
David Spanier in The Independent (1995)


WORLD SERIES OF POKER


"The Americans tip the odds in their own favour, with World Series tournaments like Limit Razz and Ace To Five Draw; such un-British games that they might as well be competitions to see who can name the most Texan garden centres."
Victoria Coren in The Guardian (2001)

POKER FACES


"Professional poker players make me more sick than a man taken sick on his day off. They come straight from central casting - smug, pasty faces, shades to hint at mystery, a prop (like a Stetson) to suggest menace, and supposedly sardonic dialogue plucked straight from a 50s B movie. No people look more permanently pleased with themselves than professional poker players … They are without exception so plug ugly you suspect they’ve pulled more royal flushes than women … They are the living dead, clinging desperately to an artificial image of devil-may-care recklessness forged by purely fictional characters like the Cincinnati Kid and Maverick."
Derek McGovern in The Daily Mirror (2006)

POKER BOOKS


"Anthony Holden, author of the bestselling book about poker, Big Deal, goes out of his way to emphasise that poker is not gambling because it is a game of skill, and yet he won’t go down to the tables without wearing his lucky watch."
Mike Atherton, Gambling (2006)

poker quotations book - humorous poker quotes

POKER MOVIES


"Hollywood often uses gambling, and less often card playing, to add a flavour to a movie. Unfortunately most of these movies have silly scenes (House of Games) or stink (Honeymoon in Vegas) or both (Maverick)."
Steve Badger on PlayWinningPoker.com

POKER ON T.V.


"Be advised that a Poker Craze is sweeping the nation. Almost every night there are poker tournaments on television. And if you think that watching people play cards on television would be boring, I have three words for you: correct-o-mundo. The problem is that there's not a lot of action in televised poker, where the most strenuous thing the players do is push small plastic chips a distance of about 15 inches. (Granted, this is more action than you see in televised golf.) To make matters worse, poker players do not betray any feelings. So, most of the time what you have, visually, is a bunch of grim-faced guys sitting around a table, looking like a haemorrhoid support group."
Dave Barry in The Washington Post (2004)

POKER EXTRAS [A to Z]


America's Game
"Of all the gambling games, poker, a distinctly American invention a century and a half old, is undoubtedly the most popular, And although poker may not yet be as American as apple pie, it has certainly become the standard Friday night after-dinner course in many homes."
David Hayano, Poker Faces (1983)


Zen Poker
"I am in poker for all the wrong reasons. I don’t care about the money. I just want to experience a 48-hour period where I am at one with the universe. I want to experience that Zen state of consciousness where you can do no wrong: your tiny twos flop into a set, your inferior pair rivers into a backdoor straight. Phil [Laak] calls this phenomenon 'Surfing the Wa'."
Jennifer Tilly in Bluff magazine (2005)


Book Price inc Shipping Costs
Please select the drop-down option for your region and click 'Buy Now'


For more information go to "The Quotable Poker Player" Publisher website at www.quotablepokerplayer.com
or
Email Blue Eyed Books 


For more Fun-Packed Quotes Books, click these links ...

James Bond - Licence To Quote ... The Quotable 007

The Quotable Film Critic

The Quotable Fred Astaire

The Quotable Dancer

Celebrity Bitch Quotes

The Quotable Doctor Who 

Poker Quotes - Ten of the Best by Women about Women

TEN OF THE BEST POKER QUOTES - by Women about Women

as chosen by Colin M Jarman aka The Quotable Poker Player

Leah Bochan's excellent The Badass Girl's Guide to Poker quotes Annie Duke as saying “Poker is one of the only sports where a woman can compete on totally equal footing with a man, so I don’t understand why there’s a ladies-only tournament.”

Let's hope that Annie does not take offence at a ladies-only Top Ten list of Poker Quotations.

To double the female fun, the following great sayings are also female-themed poker quotations. Just to show how astute Annie can be, this Ten of the Best Female Poker Quotations starts with another Duke offering ...

“To emphasize your femininity, giggle girlishly when you win pots. Check-raise them at every opportunity. Show them your bluffs. They already don’t like you. Why not completely piss them off? … It worked for me.”
Annie Duke, How I Raised, Folded, Bluffed, Flirted, Cursed and Won Millions (2005)


“Every guy plays like he’s hard up with a hard on. I’ve seen them do the stupidest things at the poker table. They are just too pig-headed to think that anybody ever has them beat. Women are much more clear-headed.”
Angelica Stark


“I hate to see that chauvinistic B.S. where men think women belong in the kitchen. Some men have asked what I was doing at the table, and I’d say, ‘Well, I already washed the floors, did the laundry and cleaned the house, and I have nothing to do but play poker.’ I’ve said this a million times: It doesn’t take much strength to lift up two cards.”
Jennifer Harman in USA Today (2007)


“Women can play poker because anyone who can fake an orgasm can raise on a pair of deuces.”
Grace Kelly [Brett Butler] on Grace Under Fire


“First impressions can make or break you at the poker table. Even in an over-conditioned Las Vegas casino, shorts and a Celine Dion T-shirt, don’t exactly say 'I know what I’m doing here,' they scream, 'Take me!' ”
Nicola Copping in The Times (2006)


“The bottom line is you better win, or you’re going to have your critics that say the only reason why you got there is because you’re good-looking, that you can’t play a lick of poker. Any time that you are attractive and a woman, you better win. You better win.”
Clonie Gowan in The Dallas Observer (2004)



“Any attractive woman who wins a poker tournament can usually find a sponsor within the next 24 hours.”
Isabelle Mercier (2007)


"It’s easy to tease as you raise and flash a coy smile as you call. Flirting goes with poker like ice cream goes with pie - both are good on their own, but much more delicious together."
Leah Bochan in The Badass Girl’s Guide to Poker (2005)


"Women really do play differently from men - they’re chatty, they tease and brag at hands, and even the best of them can be sore losers. Another thing - they’re painfully ruthless."
Melanie McFarland in The Seattle Post-Intelligencer (2003)


“I believe it is probably true that women on the whole are not inclined to discipline their playing according to a scientific law of averages. Speaking of myself, I find that the incomparable advantage of playing by instinct is that no one else has the slightest idea what I am likely to do or why.”
Barbara Tuchman



The “Ten of the Best Poker Quotes” Lists are compiled by
Colin M Jarman aka The Quotable Poker Player 

 If you have any female on female poker quitations you would like to share, please post your female poker quote (and any sources where known) in the comments box below.

Minggu, 25 Juli 2010

Poker Quotes - Top Ten Funny Poker Quotations

TEN FUNNIEST POKER QUOTES OF ALL TIME?

as chosen by Colin M Jarman aka The Quotable Poker Player

What makes for a really funny poker quotation? Since this is my list, the answer is simple: any saying or thought about poker that makes me laugh.

Having spent the past two years compiling The Quotable Poker Player - a book of 1500 humorous poker quotations - I figure I have as much right as anybody to pick my Top Ten Funniest Poker Quotes of All Time.

So, apart from making me laugh in some way, how do I judge a funny or humorous or amusing poker quotation? My particular brand of poker humour is predicated on three main factors:

A. Hilarity ... it has to make me laugh out loud or smile deeply within.

B. Cleverness ... I'm a stone cold sucker for intelligent humour and if a non-poker pop culture reference is also thrown in, then that's the quotable equivalent of the nuts.

C. Originality ... just as there are only three basic jokes, there are only three basic poker quotations (those about playing poker, those about poker & sex, and those by Victoria Coren). So, the more original the quote the more I love it.

Having published the first-ever book of 1500 funny poker quotations and having rejected a whole lot more that failed to make the final cut of 1500, these ten are the funniest poker quotes that I keep coming back to time after time. Every time I read them I still laugh, smile or genuflect in their general direction.

As with all my Top Ten quotations list they are not ranked 1 to 10 or in any cogent order ... as with a deck of cards I like my poker quotations well shuffled.

“When the next hand starts, stop talking about the last hand, whether you won or lost. Living in the past is a Jethro Tull album, not a smart poker strategy."
Richard Roeper in The Chicago Sun-Times (2005)

"No-Limit Texas Hold ‘em may be the Cadillac of poker games, but there are plenty of other fine cars out there in the showroom."
Conrad Brunner on CardPlayer.com (2006)

"The Americans tip the odds in their own favour, with World Series tournaments like Limit Razz and Ace To Five Draw; such un-British games that they might as well be competitions to see who can name the most Texan garden centres."
Victoria Coren in The Guardian (2001)

Phil Gordon: "Even Jesus wouldn’t bet all of his chips on a J-3."
Dave Foley: "Well, if he did, by the time the cards hit the table they’d be different."
on Celebrity Poker Showdown

"I played Texas Hold ’em that night, but the only thing I was holding when I went home was my MetroCard. I had been cleaned out by men who knew how to fold early, bet strong and run the table like Rudy Giuliani runs the city."
Brian Koppelman in The New York Observer (2001)

Campaigning for poker to be included in the Olympic Games - "After all, the ribbon-waving rhythmic gymnasts are in. The shuttlecock-chasing badminton players are in. Even the ice-sweeping curlers are in. And poker’s out? That’s like throwing a party for mankind’s greatest inventions and forgetting to invite indoor plumbing."
Poker in Athens (2004)

“Bridge has an image problem. While Hold 'em conjures up hard-bitten men, scantily clad women, and long nights in Las Vegas, bridge evokes cucumber sandwiches, dank afternoons in village halls, and sharp words between bitter octogenarians. In Hold 'em, you need balls. In bridge, you are more likely to have a dicky prostate.”
Ed Caesar in The Independent (2006)

"Everybody just sits. These people spend more time on their butts than FDR did. And now you, too, can get the entire 2003 World Series of Poker on DVD, featuring all that sitting! (Comes with an ice pick to insert into your brain.) The dullness is built into the game. The way to win at Texas Hold ‘em is to be as expressionless as drywall and fold a lot. Whoo-ee! You talk about exciting! What’s ESPN going to put on next, the World Hairline-Receding Championships?"
Rick Reilly in Sports Illustrated magazine (2004)

Brant: "What’s going on?"
Charlene: "We’re telling stories. You just missed a really good one about a man who won November 1937 in a poker game."
Neil Gaiman, Sandman: A Tale of Two Cities (1994)

"If you think what we have going on today is online Poker Mania you’re in for a gaming earthquake of mega-magnitude. To use a Beatles’ metaphor, today we’re somewhere around Love Me Do and Please, Please Me. We have the massive climb towards Rubber Soul and Sergeant Pepper to come!"
‘All The Aces’ in The Daily Star (2005)



The Top Ten Funniest Poker Quotes - a personal selection - was compiled by
Colin M Jarman aka The Quotable Poker Player